Happy-sad and Tiny Dancer

There is something with Elton John’s Tiny Dancer that makes me happy-sad. It’s the same thing I feel when listening to LandslideHappy-sad, maybe because Almost Famous is a happy-sad movie too. You see, I find it hard to describe what happy-sad is. The thing is, I know when a song is happy-sad. I may not be able to pin what makes a song happy-sad but once I feel it, I know it.

PS. I know, Patrick Fugit is cute and adorkable.

PPS. You can view the songs on my Chill playlist by visiting my Grooveshark page.

Room435

When did it become the middle class dream to quit your well paid job and open up a little artisan coffee shop in the slightly dingy part of town? I can’t count the number of people who have confessed this secret fantasy to me recently, and I know one person who has bitten the bullet to make it happen. It’s easy to see the allure. Especially for Generation Y (of which I am just on the verge) who have grown up with the expectation that work should be a rewarding and empowering pursuit, not a ball and chain around your neck.

This is partly because the wealthy western world is moving higher up Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s no longer enough for jobs to provide money, security and status. Now many of us are looking for careers which help us grow as people and reach our full potential. And that…

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Seemingly lost but happily wandering

PS: Before you read this, please play this in the background


*****

1:29 AM. I am still awake. I am always still up during these times. A self-diagnosed insomniac with a stream of thoughts would always be up by this time. But here I am, writing this post because I know honestly that nothing very particular is currently in my mind. In these times, you know that I try so hard to be Julie Powell– hey, who does not want that spontaneity?!

Living alone has it’s own perks: I get to control the course of my own life, uninhibited by the extended family I used to live with. They are really controlling and I do not want to submit to their kind of lifestyle of playing the underdog. I want to take control of the course of my life and here I am right now, the captain of my own ship. Yes, I am struggling and I always go short, but nothing is more important to me than having this type of freedom: freedom from a heckling, dim-witted brother, abusive father, blabber mouth of a grandmother and parasitic aunts and cousins.

Yes, I can be really sharp-tongued when it comes to them. To tell you honestly, I don’t get to say it unless I write about it. I am coward in real life. I avoid confrontation when I always make it to a point that I am conversationally argumentative when I write. That is the reason that I choose to stay away from them, because I can only protect myself when I am away. I don’t get to be bullied and nothing is being taken away from me. I have always dreamed of living alone and here I am, living the dream.

One day, I will look back at this particular point in my life: seemingly lost but happily wandering. I just realized that I found a good way to describe where I am right now (the last five words of the previous sentence). I just need to hold on. Just hold on.