I always have these images recurring in my mind. I would either die young or fade into the grayness of old life, down with Alzheimers– alone perhaps if ever I am very unfortunate. I don’t really know if I have to be bothered by these rather gruesome images; but then again, whenever you don’t really know what to do with your life I guess dealing with these occasional dark depressive moments is the inevitable. I am in my 20s and the chance of me dying young gets slimmer as each day passes. One thing I am sure though is, like Voldemort, I fear of ceasing to exist.
But I don’t really know what to do with it. All I know is that this moment was triggered by the latest episode of Glee (which by the way had some good covers). You see, all I have is potential and I still have more to prove. The thing is though, I do not seem to get the support I needed. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. You look out there, you see different possibilities; and then I turn to the mirror and all I see is myself, lost.
I know I did this to myself, and I do not need to put the blame to someone. This is what growing up means, owning my own faults to myself. I guess this is one of the best things that happened to me– growing up. Maturity. And I hope other people around me would get a little dose of it. In fact, I know someone who spent a good sixty years walking around this world without getting a sense of maturity. I guess I have been lucky. At least I get to own up. At least I can live the rest of my life without the burden of immaturity at my back.
At least, I have a take away. A valuable one, that is.