For almost seven months now, I have been practicing yoga. Aside from being suggested by my physiatrist to help out in my back problems (back muscles must be used and exercised regularly to prevent the condition from progressing), I was coming to it after a serious downturn of events career-wise and personally. So I tried and enrolled to a studio and started practicing quite regularly (four-times a week iirc).
At first it was really hard. I mean, I am effing fat and out-of-shape and I have a big huge tummy bulging out of me (It is still here by the way!) and I get tired easily. Thankfully, my teachers gave me options to take and so I didn’t felt lagging during class. These introduction to the yoga practice made me interested in taking another class. After my first yoga class, I felt feverish and everything hurt. The succeeding class, however, has always been better than the previous one.
Then, the pandemic happened. The studio closed. ECQ.
Good thing that the studio and the yoga teachers found a way to take the practice online. So I went to finding a class that fits my wfh schedule and ever since then, I have been practicing yoga every weekend. (Shout out to the great teachers I found — @riannayoga and @lizsternyoga!)
So seven months into the practice and I find myself a little bit stronger each day. My chaturangas are better, my down dogs are more efficient. I thought it would take years of practice to arrive at headstand but I just learned to do an acceptable one just few weeks ago. Yoga always surprises me as to where my body could go at a certain point. From a very feeble, back pain-haunted crazy person last February, each yoga practice (whether on my own or during class) made me a little bit more confident each time. That is the beauty of incrementalism — one may not see or feel the slight changes happening, but it takes you by surprise spontaneously or sometimes in retrospect.
But more than learning the asanas/poses, what yoga has been teaching me is about the importance of down-regulation and finding peace. I’d like to think that I am a type-A, over-achieving person whose mind is always on the go. For the past five years, I tried to do a lot of things very rapidly. At times I was very good at doing what I do. Then the landslide came as rapidly as the climb. I was disappointed at myself as I fall face flat on the ground.
Yoga made me realized the importance of taking a step-back from the crazy fast-paced world. It is easy to get lost in this world where we try to compete with everyone else, where we try to put our ego first, where we believe that the only way to move forward is to always step on the clutch. In yoga, it helped me find time to breathe in order to check in with myself. In yoga, it helped me find value in stillness.
At this point, peace and strength are always the goal. They go hand-in-hand. And in the pursuit of peace and strength, I just hope that it makes me a better, kinder person.
Demented Musings 